The Five-0 On Facebook
by MadaleineWinchester
Summary: Random one shots with the Five-0 on Facebook! Lots of humour/bromance/friendship.
1. Chapter 1

_This idea is not mine. I have seen it done many times in other fandoms and thought it would be funny to do it with the Hawaii Five-0 characters. Do tell me what you think! I got another fanfic going but this will keep me entertained until my muse returns..._

...

Kono Kalakaua updated her status. _Waves this morning, epic brah!_

Grace Williams, Steve McGarrett, Chin Ho Kelly and 30 others liked this status.

Danny comments: _Why do we need to know this! Seriously, why do I need to know you were attempting to kill yourself this morning?_

Steve comments: _Relax Danny, Kono has been surfing for years; she's perfectly safe._

Kono comments: _Thnx, Boss!_

Danny comments: _What is, and I quote, 'Thnx'? I believe you mean 'Thank you'._

Steve comments: _Danno, this is Facebook. If you need me to teach you how to use it, just let me know. Teaching you how to use your email was hard enough._

Danny comments: _Hey! It's not my fault I hated email. Actually, I still hate it._

...

Steve McGarrett updated his status update. _Swam 5 miles in one hour! Record Broken!_

Kono Kalakaua, Catherine Rollins, Joe White and 67 others liked this status.

Joe comments: _Great Steve, I'll be expecting that broken again at some point?_

Steve comments: _Yes, Sir!_

Catherine comments: _That's great, Steve, I'm proud of you. Hey, you home tonight?_

Steve comments: _Yeah, I'll see you later then?_

Catherine comments: _Definitely. Can we actually have dinner tonight?_

Steve McGarrett, Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua and 4 others liked this comment.

Steve comments: _Won't make any promises. ;)_

Danny comments: _I walked for 20 minutes today, record broken! Totally 'epic brah'!_

Danny comments: _Seriously, not one like? Kono surfed and got 30 odd likes, Steve swam and got 60 damn likes. I walked and got none!? Un-freaking believable! You know what, I think I might stick to email._

Grace comments: _Daddy! Swear jar!_

Steve McGarrett, Kono Kalakaua, Joe White and 12 others liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Hey, monkey! I thought I specifically told Rachel not to let you on Facebook without discussing it first with her fantastic ex-husband. And seriously, why does nobody like my comment?_

Grace Williams liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Thanks, love you my little monkey._

...

Grace Williams updated her relationship status. _In A Relationship._

Kono Kalakaua, Rachel Edwards, Catherine Rollins and 7 others like this status

Danny comments: _WHAT?! This better not be true. Grace please tell me this a joke!_

Rachel comments: _Daniel, calm down. She is perfectly entitled to a love life. Just because you don't have one doesn't mean your daughter can't..._

Steve McGarrett liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Rachel, first, I do have a love life! And Steven, you better unlike that comment right now!_

Steve comments: _Why? Rachel has actually made a valid point._

Rachel comments: _Why, thank you, Steve!_

Steve McGarrett liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Ahhh, I hate you all!_

Rachel Edwards and Steve McGarrett liked this comment.

...

Danny Williams updated his status and posted a new photo. _Would someone mind coming and wrapping MY car from the tree Steven has just wrapped us around?_

Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly, Kamekona and 43 others liked this status.

Steve comments: _Stop being so dramatic, Danno, it's just a little dent!_

Danny comments: _A little dent?! You ripped the door off!_

Steve comments: _Your door is not ripped off, I can see still see the hinges connecting the frame and the door together._

Danny comments: _Yeah, by a single screw! There should be about another dozen connecting them together!_

Kamekona comments: _That don't look good, brah. Kamekona is selling shave ice at half price!_

Steve McGarrett and Grace Williams liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Okay, thanks for the info Kamekona, but how's that supposed to make me feel better when my car is completely trashed, thanks to Steven?_

Kamekona comments: _Shave ice makes everything better, especially Kamekona's shave ice. :)_

 _..._

Danny Williams posted on Steve McGarrett's Facebook wall. _Yo Ninja! Steve McGarrett_

Steve comments: _What, Danno? Kinda busy right now._

Danny comments: _Doing what? Reading the latest issue of Guns Ammo? I believe the correct slang term to use right now is 'lol'?_

Catherine comments: _Me!_

Steve McGarrett, Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly and 24 others liked this comment.

Danny comments: _What?_

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _I guess they say ignorance is bliss._


	2. Chapter 2

Kono Kalakaua updated her status. _Don't anyone need me today and even if you do, I will NOT be there!_

Catherine Rollins, Adam Noshimuri and 10 others liked this status.

Danny comments: _But what if I need you?_

Steve McGarrett and Chin Ho Kelly liked this comment.

Steve comments: _Yeah, and me?_

Danny Williams liked this comment.

Kono comments: _Neither of you are that special, get over it._

Danny comments: _But what if a case comes up?_

Steve commens: Yeah, what if Danny's brain finally bursts from being so goodie goodie all the time?

Kono Kalakaua, Catherine Rollins, Chin Ho Kelly and 6 others liked this comment.

Danny comments: _I'm not a goodie goodie! Okay? Take that back Steven!_

Steve comments: Yes you are! Everyone says so!

Danny comments: _No, they don't! Shut up!_

Steve comments: _Yes they do, Danno._

Danny comments: _Shut up or you'll regret it!_

Steve comments: _What are you going to do? Talk me to death? Are you even out of bed_?

Danny comments: _Stop being Mr Idiot!_

Steve comments: _Why don't you?!_

Kono comments: _Why don't you both shut up? My phone is quite literally blowing up with notifications!_

Catherine Rollins, Chin Ho Kelly, Keako and 3 others liked this comment.

...

Catherine Rollins updated her status. _Just docked up, I'll be off the ship in less than half an hour! Can't wait to see you all again!_

Steve McGarrett, Grace Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Rachel Edwards and 132 other people liked this.

Kono comments: _Finally! Some girl time once you're settled?_

Catherine comments: _Surfing? :)_

Kono comments: _You know me too well!_

Steve comments: _I've missed you._

Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly, Rachel Edwards, Joe White and 14 other people liked this comment.

Catherine comments: _Me too. I can't wait to see you, I have something to show you!_

Steve comments: _You do? What is it?_

Catherine comments: It's a surprise! But you're going to love it. :)

Danny comments: _Okay, i believe this is going somewhere which probably would not be suitable for anyone under the age of 18? My DAUGHTER liked this status! There's texting for a reason!_

 _..._

Danny Williams posted a new photo.

0 likes.

Steve comments: _Woah, Danno! I think you accidentally posted the photo of our vic on Facebook. No wonder Kono couldn't find it on DropBox!_

Danny comments: _Oh, shoot! How do I delete this?_

Rachel comments: _Daniel! You should have seen Grace's face when she showed me this horrible photo. Remove it, now!_

Danny comments: _Thank you so much, Rachel, if only I actually knew how to delete this. Okay, Steve, a little help here?! Kono? Chin?_

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _It's not that hard, brah. The option to delete should be on the right hand corner._

Danny comments: _Gee, thanks, Chin! That's like me asking where Los Angeles is and you reply 'It's in America!'_

Rachel comments: _That was a terrible comparison, Daniel..._

Steve McGarrett, Chin Ho Kelly and 6 others liked this comment.

Danny comments: _No, it wasn't. My mother just sent me a message asking me if I had 'lost my mind' and now she think's I'm a dirty cop or something! Okay, guys! This isn't funny anymore, help!?_

Steve comments: _Just hurry up and get to HQ and I'll delete it for you, Danno. Remind me why you made Facebook?_

Danny comments: _Remind me how we're still great friends?_

 _..._

Steve McGarrett changed his relationship status. _Married Danny Williams._

Chin Ho Kelly, Kamekona, Kono Kalakaua and 102 others liked this.

Catherine comments: _Steve, is there something you need to tell me?_

Chin Ho Kelly: _Happy for you guys! Never been to a gay wedding before..._

Grace comments: _Yay, step-Steve!_

Kamekona: _Nice one, brah!_

Danny comments: _Okay, either we were both drunk last night or you're coming out of the closet?_

Steve comments: _Kono, you're so busted!_

Kono Kalakaua liked this comment.

...

Kamekona updated his status update. _FREE shrimp for the HOUR, not a minute longer!_

Steve McGarrett, Kono Kalakaua, Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly and 341 others liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Advertising again, big guy?_

Kamekona comments: _Why not, brah? It's free!_

Danny comments: _What! It's not free! They charge you at the end of every moth for EVERY post you make. Didn't you know?_

Steve McGarrett, Kono Kalakaua, Grace Williams and 45 others liked this.

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _Sorry, Danno, but you're wrong... It was actually Steve's idea to tell you that so you would stop updating your status._

Steve McGarrett: _Ah, come on, Chin! A little longer wouldn't have hurt._

Danny comments: _I'm going to get Catherine to use her hacking skills to get into your Facebook. Oh, I'm so going to do that!_

...

Grace Williams posted a new photo. _Stan, Mummy and Me!_

Chin Ho Kelly, Rachel Edwards, Kamekona and 34 others liked this comment.

Rachel Edwards: _We all look great, especially my little Grace. :)_

Danny Williams and Stan Edwards liked this comment.

Danny comments: _It must be the DNA!_

Rachel comments: _Have you forgotten I made her too?_

Steve McGarret, Kono Kalakaua and Grace Williams liked this comment.

Stan comments: _I am so lucky to have a family like ours. Rachel Edwards_

Danny comments: _Yeah, and you wouldn't have 'your' family if it wasn't for me._

Rachel comments: _Daniel, what is your problem?_

Danny comments: _My problem?! Oh, nothing!_

Steve comments: _I think he's what they call 'jealous'._

Danny comments: _Steve, nobody asked for your opinion!_

Kono Kalakaua, Kamekona and Grace Williams liked this comment.

...

Steve McGarrett updated his status. _I haven't washed in a month. Oh, and Danny's hair is better than mine._

Kono Kalakaua, Danny Williams, Kamekona and 34 others liked this.

Steve comments: _All clear guys! This was Danny. He wasn't joking when he said he'd get Cath to hack my account._

Catherine comments: _Sorry, babe._


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you to Fanficqueen306, puckleberryfan82, julieb716, McGarrettIsMine, lovencisla2014, fanthing1123 and stefrosacarnevale for your enlightening reviews! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this as much as I am enjoying writing it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!_

 _..._

Grace Williams uploaded a new photo. _My new Barbie doll._

Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Rachel Edwards, Stan Edwards and 12 other people liked this.

David comments: _It's so pretty! Like u..._

Grace Williams and Rachel Edwards liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Yeah, very pretty, but you haven't seen pretty yet. Now beat it, 'David', and stop perving on my daughter!_

Rachel comments: _You're supposed to be working, aren't you? And what have I told you about Grace's love life?_

Danny comments: _Don't blame me if she ends up on Teen Mom!_

 _..._

Kono Kalakaua uploaded a new photo. _Great team, great friends! With - Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly and Max Bergman._

Joe White, Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, Catherine Rollins and 272 other people liked this photo.

Danny comments: _Grt photo guyz._

Kono comments: _What do you mean by, and I quote, 'grt'?_

Steve McGarrett liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Ah ah ah, very funny, Kono. Grace has been teaching me how to use Facebook. What's up with Steve's face in this photo?_

Steve comments: _Is there a problem with my face, Danno?_

Danny comments: _Yeah, you have your 'aneurysm' face on. You don't like photos, huh?_

Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua liked this comment.

Steve comments: _Actually, I have no problem with photos. What's up with your ugly tie?_

Kono Kalakaua, Catherine Rollins, Rachel Edwards and 22 other people liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Oh, very funny guys! I see you got a lot of support there, Steve, great to know I have friends. And that tie is one of my favourites! What's so bad in looking professional, Steven? You should consider wearing one too instead of coming to work dressed as a cave man._

Steve comments: _What's so bad? Do you really want me to answer, here, on Facebook?_

Danny comments: _Okay, you know what? I'd rather not know. I don't care anyway. I love my ties._

Grace Williams liked this comment.

Max comments: _I actually like your ties very much, Danny. Very professional looking indeed!_

Danny comments: _Well, now I know who my REAL FRIENDS are. Thanks, Max!_

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _Who paid you, Max?_

Steve McGarrett, Grace Williams, Rachel Edwards and 36 other people liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Why am I still in the Five-0?!_

Steve comments: _Because you can't get enough of us._

Danny comments: _Oh, trust me, I got enough of you guys, more than enough for that matter!_

...

Max Bergman updated his status. _At the Halloween party with my favourite Five 0'er! With- Lori Weston._

Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua and 23 others liked this.

Kono Kalakaua: _Lori? Dressed for Halloween?_

Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams and Chin Ho Kelly liked this comment.

Lori comments: _Oh, God... I told Max not to post anything. He clearly didn't hear me.._.

Steve McGarrett: Wh _at's so bad, huh? We're a team, right? ;)_

Danny comments: _So, what did you dress up as? Chin bets on Superwoman._

Max comments: _Oh! I do apologize, Lori, I didn't think there'd be a problem..._

Danny comments: _No, no, don't apologize, Max! I'm grateful, actually, we all are._

Lori comments: _Very funny guys... and no, it wasn't Superwoman. And I'm not going to tell anybody. I have a private life._

Danny comments: _Oh, didn't you know there's this Five-0 thing?_

Lori comments: _What Five-0 thing...?_

Danny comments: _Well, if you're a part of the team, your private life doesn't stay private. Ask Steve, he'll tell you._

Steve comments: _Yeah, he's right. He knows everything about mine._

Lori comments: _Okay, I'm scared._

Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua, Danny Williams and 65 other people liked this comment.

...

Danny updated his status. _Hashtag moving in with McGarret._

Kono Kalakaua, Rachel Edwards, Grace Williams and 89 other people liked this.

Steve comments: _Seriously, Danno? 'McGarret'?_

Danny comments: _So what? Okay, Einstein, I made a mistake!_

Steve comments: _Well, change it, Danno._

Danny comments: _Why are you making such a fuss, Steven? Can we just leave it? I think people got the idea._

Steve comments: _It says McGarrett on the badge._

Danny comments: _Yeah, and it says I don't care on my forehead!_

Danny comments: _Okay, seriously, how the hell do I edit that? I forgot what Chin told me last week._

Grace Williams liked this comment.

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _Brah, you have amnesia?_

Danny comments: _If one more person makes a witty comment like that, I'm just deleting this damn thing and stick to my email!_

Kamekona comments: _Hey, brah, have I told you already that Kamekona's shave ice is half price?_

Danny comments: _Yes, Kamekona, like three hundred gazillion times. But as you can see, there's a very important issue to deal with here._

Kamekona comments: _Does that number even exist, brah?_

Grace Williams, Chin Ho Kelly and Steve McGarrett liked this comment.

...

Chin Ho Kelly uploaded a photo and updated his status. _I'm getting married... And only doing it with the best! Thanks my brothers. With - Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams._

Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, Catherine Rollins, Joe White and 432 other people liked this.

Steve comments: _Did you really think I'd miss your big day and not be your best man, brother?_

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _Of course not, we're ohana, right?_

Danny Williams, Kono Kalakaua, Steve McGarrett and 29 other people liked this.

Danny comments: _Who's your best best man? ;)_

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _Ohhh, I can't choose, brah!_

Danny comments: _If I'm better than Steve, like my comment._

 _3 and a half hours later..._

Danny comments: _Woah, no likes? This is starting to become a trend. Okay, you know what? What's my Gmail password again?_

 _..._

Danny Williams updated his status. _Feeling scared... With - Steve McGarrett._

0 likes.

Steve comments: _What is wrong with you, Danno!? We're in the middle of a mission, are you kidding me?!_

Danny comments: _Hey, you're the one to talk! How did you comment on this status then?_

Steve comments: _That's not the point, Danno! Concentrate, okay?_

Kamekona comments: _I don't think I've told you, brah, but shave ice is half price!_

Steve comments: _We got it, Kamekona!_

Danny comments: _We got it, Kamekona!_

Governor comments: _We may need to speak later._

Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua, Catherine Rollins, Joe White and 232 other people liked this comment.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you to Fanficqueen306, stefrosacarnevale, Leni-H50, Guest 1, Guest 2, Mai and McGarrett is mine for your reviews. I appreciate them a lot! And thank you for your prompt Fanficqueen306. :)_

 _..._

Steve heard his phone vibrate and saw the screen light up; a sign he had received a message. Grunting and hoping it was nothing majorly serious, he grabbed his phone and noticed it was a message from Danny on Facebook. He wouldn't have been so bothered about the message if it wasn't 4 AM.

Danny's message: _Babe, I can't sleep. Wake up._

Steve's message: _What do you want, Danno?_

Danny's message: _I told you, I can't sleep! I'm stressing out here._

Steve's message: _Why? Maybe you wouldn't be stressing out if you tried sleeping. But that's just me._

Danny's message: _No, smartypants, I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about something, okay?_

Steve's message: _What's up?_

Danny's message: _It's Grace's birthday in two days._

Steve's message: _Yeah, I know. You're stressing out because of that?_

Danny's message: _No! Well, not exactly! She gave me this list, hang on, I'll send it to you. It's everything she wants - or hopes to get - for her 14th birthday._

Steve's message: _She wants a pony?_

Danny's message: _You haven't read it all yet!_

Steve's message: _Okay. Another Barbie doll. Hair clips. Make up box. These things are pretty normal, and affordable. Not sure about the pony. I could do something about that._

Danny's message: _What?! Are you out of your mind? I'm not going to give her a birthday present that could potentially leave me daughter-less, thank you very much! And you haven't read the last thing she wants. Gave me a heart attack._

Steve's message: _Oh._

Danny's message: _Yeah, and 'oh' was not the only thing I said, trust me!_

Steve's message: _It's just an action figure for David, what's wrong with that?_

Danny's message: _What's_

Danny's message: _Wrong_

Danny's message: _With_

Danny's message: _That?!_

Danny's message: _She wants ME to buy something for that lousy 'boyfriend' she now has, all thanks to Rachel. What if he's touched her? What if they've kissed? You tell Chin to run 'David Kawaka' into the system and find his address for me, okay? Now!_

Steve's message: _Danno, calm down, you're over reacting for nothing. She's growing up, what can I say?_

Danny's message: _I don't want her to grow up, Steve. She's my little baby._

Steve's message: _Yeah, me too, bro, but it's just how things go._

Steve's message: _So, I'll go see if any pony's are up for sale?_

Danny's message: _NO! FREAKING! WAY! You can cross that off the list. Oh, and you can cross off David's action figure too. The only thing he's getting is a conversation with me._

Steve's message: _Hey, how old is this list?_

Danny's message: _Why? She gave it to me a couple of months early._

Steve's message: _Oh, it's because Grace updated her relationship status. Looks like she found another._

Steve's message: _Danno, are you okay? Why aren't you replying?_

Danny's message: _WHY AREN'T I REPLYING? This is all Rachel's fault! Nobody ever listens to the ex-husband, as usual! 'Jake'. WHAT? She posted a picture of them ALMOST kissing. STEVE, tell me, what am I supposed to do?_

Steve's message: _Danny, first of all, you need to breathe. Second of all, you need to calm down. And third, Rachel said she could have a love life, okay?_

Danny's message: _Yeah, what about 'Danny said she can't have a love life yet 'cause she's too young', huh?!_

Steve's message: _Okay, good point. Maybe if you tried to talk to Rachel - without arguing - she might consider your choice._

Danny's message: _Without arguing? A rock is more likely to fall on my head than that_.

...

Kono Kalakaua updated her status. _Best way to end the night! At - Hilton Hawaiian Village._

Joe White, Matt Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Catherine Rollins and 45 other people liked this.

Kamekona comments: _Best! Danny's tie looks a bit weird, don't it sista'?_

Kono Kalakaua liked this comment.

Danny comments: _I'm sitting right next to you, Kamekona, or have you forgotten? Can everybody just stop bashing my ties, it's annoying!_

Steve comments: Maybe you should take it as a hint.

Danny comments: Take this as a hint then, Steven: I won't stop wearing ties!

Matt comments: _Gotta' love my brother's ties!_

Danny Williams liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Thanks, brother._

 _..._

Steve McGarrett updated his status. _Tiring run first thing in the morning. Worth it._

Catherine Rollins, Joe White, Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua and 68 other people liked this.

Danny comments: _Great job, psycho! Hey, guess what I bought today? You might want to come to HQ, and quick._

Chin Ho Kelly comments: _He's brought us enough malasadas to feed the whole of Hawaii._

Kono comments: _You might want to see this, Boss!_

Steve comments: _Jesus, Daniel, you ever going to stop eating those?_

Danny comments: _No, because they're good. Why don't you stop eating green leaves? You're not a rabbit!_

Kono Kalakaua liked this comment.

Danny comments: _You're the only one who doesn't like malasadas. Here's a photo of us back at HQ._

Steve comments: _You got something on your shirt, Danno. I think it's oil._

Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly, Kamekona, Grace Williams and 24 other people liked this.

Danny comments: _Ah, come on! And this was new, too._

 _..._

Rachel Edwards updated her status. _Lovely dinner tonight with Stan. Thank you so much. (Heart emoticon)_

Stan Edwards, Grace Williams, Steve McGarrett, Chin Ho Kelly and 192 other people liked this.

Stan comments: _Only for you, Rachel. (Heart emoticon)_

Danny comments: _So, what time am I meant to pick Grace up tomorrow?_

Rachel comments: _You could have sent me a message, Daniel._

Danny comments: _Oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt the love but Grace is very important right now. Oh, and we need to talk about Grace's 'love life'!_

Stan comments: _I don't see a problem in Grace having a love life, I think it's part of the whole growing up process._

Danny comments: _Thanks for the input, 'Stan', but I was talking to my ex-wife._

Rachel comments: _Stop being so rude! Save yourself further embarrassment and just send me the message._

 _..._

Clara Williams posted a new photo. _My boys when they were only small. Love you!_

Danny Williams, Matt Williams, Steve McGarrett, Kono Kalakaua and 96 other people liked this.

Kamekona comments: _Looks like I'm not the only 'big guy' here!_

Steve McGarrett, Clara Williams, Matt Williams and 29 other people liked this comment.

Clara comments: _Danny was such a big boy, wasn't he? Oh! I remember when he used to beg me to breastfeed him almost one hundred times a day! It was exhausting._

Steve McGarrett, Chin Ho Kelly, Matt Williams and 18 other people liked this.

Danny comments: _Mom, I love you so much but everybody at HQ is laughing at me right now. Steve, stop being an asshole, okay?_

Steve comments: _What's wrong, big guy? ;)_

Danny comments: _Very funny, Steven, your best joke to date!_

Kono comments: _You looked adorable, Danny._

Danny comments: _What do you mean, 'looked'? I still look adorable, thanks._

Matt comments: _You know, you looked a lot better when your hair wasn't slicked back._

Steve McGarrett, Kono Kalakaua, Clara Williams and 6 other people liked this comment.

Danny comments: _This is bullying, okay? Why does everybody gang up on me? Look at Matt, he was fat too!_

Clara comments: _Daniel, now don't be so rude to your brother!_

Steve comments: _You heard, Danno._

Danny comments: _This is great, just great!_

Rachel comments: _Grace said Danny looks adorable in this photo._

Danny Williams and Clara Williams liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Of course my little monkey did! Tell her I love her._

Rachel comment: _But after, she also said she agreed with Matt's comment._

Kono Kalakaua, Matt Williams, Steve McGarrett, Chin Ho Kelly and 46 other people liked this.

...

Danny Williams updated his status. _Driving my Camaro today. AND, I'm actually driving it today._

Steve McGarrett, Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly and 65 other people liked this.


	5. Chapter 5

_I think thanking everybody personally takes too long, so here goes: thank you to all my reviews. And thanks to those who have alerted this story or favourited, you guys don't go unnoticed! Fanficqueen306, once again, thanks for your very funny prompt. Keep them coming. :)_

 _..._

Steve, Kono and Chin were all on their break, laughing and smirking over the photo Kono had posted on her Facebook. It was a rather embarassing photo for all; a picture they had taken back at the Hilton hotel after many drinks. But the one who looked most horrible was Danny; and for several reasons that were best not discussed...

"Has he seen it yet?" Steve asked his partner, grinning.

Kono gave her phone a quick glance and shook her head. "Not yet, boss." She grinned.

"Danny is going to kill you both, you know that?" Chin spoke up, but he too couldn't suppress the grin that wanted to form on his face due to the absolute horror of the photo.

"Hey," Kono slapped her cousin's arm. "You're in this too, cuz'." She winked playfully, making Chin shake his head.

"Anyway, where's Danny? He's almost never late." Chin said, looking between Steve and Kono for some sort of answer. Kono shrugged.

"Look," Steve pointed. "He's here." Suddenly, as if on cue, the whole team hid their phones and acted like nothing at all was going on. Danny walked into the room but his eyes were glued on his phone. Had he seen the photo yet? His face looked as if he was frustrated at something. Kono was trying her absolute best not to laugh right now.

"Good morning to you, too, Sunshine." Steve spoke up, referring to Danny.

"Good morning? Only for you." Danny said, but he wouldn't stop looking at his phone. Eventually, the frustration hit him so badly that he threw his phone into his pocket and huffed.

"What's up?" Kono pondered.

"I forgot my Facebook password!" Danny moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and hating Steve's smirk. "What's so funny?" He asked. "Do you guys have something to do with this?" He pointed intimidatingly at them all.

Chin was the first one to throw his arms up defensively. "No way, brother. Maybe you just forgot it. Are you sure Grace wasn't messing around on your phone or something?" He asked, genuinely trying to help Danny. So, it seemed he hadn't seen the photo... _Thank God,_ Chin thought.

"No, I'm sure, Chin." He said firmly, getting further annoyed.

"Try your password again?" Kono added.

"I did! At least five hundred times this morning but it says it's wrong. Why do the spirits hate me?" He crossed his arms.

"We told you to wait for the priest, but you insisted on disturbing the place." Steve said, referring to the case they got on Halloween just a week ago. As a result of Danny's 'I don't believe in ghosts' thing, he angered some spirits badly. Which got his car windows broken. And now, his password had been changed, somehow.

"Yeah, okay, Steve!" He groaned. "Thanks for making everything better."

"You're welcome, Princess."

Danny shot him an angry look.

"Can't Catherine use her 'hacking' skills or something to help? I don't know, anything?!" Danny questioned.

"Here, let me try," Chin offered, placing his arm out so Danny could place his phone in his hand. Danny reluctantly agreed. "What's the password?" He asked, looking up at the blonde Jersey boy.

He blinked several times. "What, you want me to say it out loud?" Chin just nodded, as if it was obvious. "No way! Let me whisper it." And so he did.

"Are you serious, Danny?" Chin smirked once he had heard the password.

"What? It's just a password, okay? And anyway, what difference will it make if you type it? I tried -"

Then, Danny was stopped in his tracks when Chin successfully managed to log in to Danny's account. "Are you kidding me?" He snatched his phone to check if he had really logged in. Chin really had managed to do it.

"Not today, spirits!" He looked up at the ceiling, as if to speak to some 'superior' being, making the rest of the team laugh. "Thanks, Chin." Danny smiled, patting Chin's back.

"No problem, brother." Chin smiled back.

Kono and Steve began to smirk, using their hands to cover up their very obvious grins. It didn't go unnoticed by Danny. "Okay, I still think you guys had something to do with this. Very funny, very, very funny." Danny said a little angrily.

"No, it's not that, Danno, it's something else." Steve said.

"Oh, what is it?"

"Guys," Lori popped into the room a little hastily. Once everyone turned around to face her, she continued to speak. "Uhm, we got a case. A body was found at the docks."

"Alright, let's go." Steve said. Danny eventually shoved his phone into his pocket, momentarily forgetting his question. Kono quickly pulled her boss aside.

"I don't think he'll forgive us when he finds out." Kono tried to say in a worried tone but the photo was too damn funny not to laugh at.

Steve looked back at Danny, the blonde Jersey boy blissfully unaware that his worst nightmare had just been posted onto Facebook, as per orders of Steve McGarrett himself. He then looked back at Kono. "Don't worry, Kono." He grinned.

...

"Prepare yourselves guys, I think he's seen the photo." Kono said, laughing. They had finally caught the bad guy and were now clearing up a few things in the office. Danny begun storming into their direction, phone in hand, face red in anger.

"What the hell, Kono?!" Danny almost yelled, placing his phone up to Kono's face to show her the photo that had practically 143 likes already and 22 comments.

"What? We look great." Steve said, this time, not hiding his smirk.

"We look great?" He repeated harshly. "We look great?! Look at me, I'm a mess!" He huffed.

"I had nothing to do with this." Chin decided to add, but his comment went by ignored.

"Oh, and you know the worst part?" Danny started, waving his arms in all directions to prove his point. Oh, if only they had a cam recorder right now to capture such a humorous Danno moment the team were now witnessing. "The Governor commented on it! Oh, yeah, he did. ' _Danny, what on Earth happened here?_ '" Danny mimicked.

"Danny, calm down, it's not that bad." Steve tried.

"You look fine in this photo!" Danny blurted out. "And Grace saw this too! Now she thinks her father is some drunk idiot. I mean, look at me, my trousers are practically by my feet! My hair was all over the place and there is clearly lipstick marks all over my face! The worst part? I don't even remember how they got there!"

That's when the whole team lost it; they all begun to laugh.

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled and exhaled several times to calm himself down. "Okay, Kono, delete this." He whispered for some reason, using his hands as gestures.

"Can't." Was all she said.

"What do you mean 'can't'? Oh, don't worry, Chin taught me how to delete stuff, so give your phone here." He ordered.

" _Nope_." Kono said, laughing and popping the 'p' intentionally.

Danny was almost lost for words. That's when he remembered something. "Oh," A huge smile grew on his face. "Don't worry, I got my own revenge."

"I don't think you can top this, Danno." Steve said.

"Hey, remember that photo we took on the day we went paint balling with Grace?" Danny smirked, crossing his arms.

" _NO_!" The whole team said, including Chin. That photo was even worse than this one... Way worse.

"See ya'!" Danny said, running out of the office.

"Come back here, Danno!" Steve rushed out after him using his speedy skills to make sure that photo never reached the internet.

...

 _This one was a bit different from the other chapters. Hope you liked it anyway!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Like always, thank you to my fabulous, amazing reviewers! You guys motivate me so much. I wish I owned Steve McGarrett by the way. :( This chapter has some heartfelt moments between Steve and Danny... I hope I get it done right._

 _..._

Meanwhile, Danny and Steve's conversation on Facebook after last night's aftermath. And yes, Danny managed to post the horrible photo as revenge. Ah, revenge sure did taste amazing.

Steve's message: _I hate you._

Danny's message: _You love me._

Steve's message: _That's the problem._

Danny's message: _Look! There's an embarrassing photo of me on Facebook, too. I think we should just end this and call it quits, okay, babe?_

Steve's message: _Fine. It's late, what are you doing up?_

Danny's message: _What do you think? Stressing out! What about you, Steven, huh?_

Steve's message: _(Steve sends Danny a cute photo with he and Cath embraced on the sofa, probably watching TV)._

Danny's message: _That's very beautiful, very cute but it's giving me an allergic reaction._

Steve's message: _Cath asked if you're okay._

Danny's message: _Me? Oh, yeah, always okay, right?_

Steve's message: _Why don't I believe you?_

Danny's message: _Because you're a SEAL and your ninja-spidey skills are annoying._

Steve's message: _Come on, Danno, what's up?_

Danny's message: _More like, what's not up._

Steve's message: _What do you mean?_

Danny's message: _Went on a date, thought it went good, found out later she wasn't as interested. I think cupid hates me or something, what do you think?_

Steve's message: _Did I just read right?_

Danny's message: _What?_

Steve's message: _Danny upset about a date._

Danny's message: _I'm not upset about a date, okay!? When you put it like that, you make me sound like you._

Steve's message: _Woah, that was a bit offensive, Danno? If she wasn't interested, you'll find someone else who will be._

Danny's message: _I don't like where this is going._

Steve's message: _What do you mean?_

Danny's message: _You're getting all girly on me._

Steve's message: _I'm not getting girly, Danno, I'm trying to help you. You think everybody is just going to leave you and you end up thinking negatively about everything. Don't do that to yourself._

Danny's message: _Cath hasn't left you, has she? You don't know what it's like._

Steve's message: _I do._

Danny's message: _Okay, so, what film are you and Cath watching?_

Steve's message: _Alright, I'm letting you change the subject this once. And we're watching The Notebook._

Danny's message: _I thought you said you weren't girly._

 _Steve's message: Danny, I'm not girly. Besides, it was Cath's choice._

 _Danny's message: Yeah... I saw it in your DVD pile the last time I was at your house. Who would have thought? A NAVY seal into such films! 'lol'_

 _..._

Grace Williams updated her status. _Thank you, Danno, for the presents! I loved the Pony uncle Steve!_

Rachel Edwards, Stan Edwards, Kono Kalakaua, Kamekona and 78 other people liked this.

Jake comments: _Happy late birthday, Gracie!_

Grace Williams liked this comment.

Steve comments: _What are you going to call it, Grace?_

Grace comments: _Kiki, uncle Steve!_

Danny comments: _Hey, hey, 'Jake'! I thought we cleared up all the rules. Only her dad calls her Gracie._

Jake comments: _I'm sorry, Officer Williams..._

Danny Williams liked this comment.

Rachel comments: _Daniel, you make Jake call you Officer Williams? Are you out of your mind? You're just scaring the poor boy._

Danny comments: _That's the point. There's rules, okay? Steve, if anything happens to Grace because of the damn pony, I will personally hurt you._

Steve comments: _Don't worry, Danno, she's only allowed on it if its trainer is there with the animal. She'll be fine._

Kamekona comments: _You like the vouchers, Gracie?_

Grace Williams liked this comment.

Grace comments: _Yes, Kami!_

Danny comments: _Are you trying to give my little monkey diabetes? Shave ice and shrimp free for a week?_

Kamekona comments: _Little Grace looks like she needs some more meat on her! It won't do no harm, brah._

Danny comments: _Oh, I see, and why does she need more 'meat', Kamekona?_

Rachel comments: _Thank you very much for your present, Kamekona. And Daniel, please, don't go there. It's Grace's birthday or have you forgotten?_

Danny comments: _Going where?! I wasn't going anywhere, Rachel!_

Steve comments: _No wonder nobody was listening when I called. Hey, the burgers and sausages are already cooked, get down here._

 _..._

Kono Kalakaua updated her relationship status. _In a relationship with Adam Noshimuri._

Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Lori Weston and 234 other people liked this.

Catherine comments: _Congrats, Kono! I'm so happy. :)_

Kono comments: _Thank you, Catherine!_

Danny comments: _Can I call you Kono Noshimuri now?_

Kono Kalakaua and Adam Noshimuri liked this comment.

Steve comments: _Danno, stop._

Danny comments: _Stop, what, Steven?_

Steve comments: _Never mind._

 _..._

Danny Williams updated his status. _Can you guys please stop sending game requests? I don't play any games on here, I'm like thirty years old. Steve, what is wrong with you?_

Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua, Grace Williams and 13 other people liked this.

Steve comments: _What? It's an addictive game._

Danny comments: _Candy Crush? It's just a bunch of sweets on a screen that you move around, you're supposed to be a SEAL!_

Steve comments: _SEALs aren't aloud to play a little?_

Danny comments: _I have officially seen everything._

 _..._

Danny is over in New Jersey and Steve decides to send his partner a message...

Steve's message: _How's my boy?_

Danny's message: _Write that again, Steven._

Steve's message: _Okay...?_

Steve's message: _How's my boy?_

Danny's message: _I'm great!_

Steve's message: _Why did you make me type that twice, Danno?_

Danny's message: _Oh, that? I liked the 'how's my boy' thing. You should definitely do that more often._

Steve's message: _Alright, what's wrong with you?_

Danny's message: _What? I'm not allowed to get a little happy upon receiving a very nice message from my partner?_

Steve's message: _You know, when you say it that way, we sound like we're together._

Danny's message: _I bet it's what you wanted, after all, you did update your status as married to me._

Steve's message: _Okay, first of all, that was Kono._

Danny's message: _Hmmm, okay, Steven! If you say so._

Steven's message: _Are you trying... to call me gay, Daniel?_

Danny's message: _What? No, okay, how did we get here?_

Steve's message: _I don't know. How's New Jersey?_

Danny's message: _It's great. You know, I actually started missing you, like fifteen minutes ago._

Steve's message: _You've been there for a week.._.

Danny's message: _Yeah, I know._

Danny's message: _I'm playing with you, buddy._

Steve's message: _What happened to 'not being girly', huh?_

Danny's message: _I was hoping it came out a lot less girly instead of saying 'I miss you', okay?_

Steve's message: _Then why don't you just say it, Danno?_

Danny's message: _Why don't you say it first?_

Steve's message: _You're the one who's insisting._

Danny's message: _What?! You're the one who's insisting!_

Steve's message: _Actually, no. But yeah, I miss you. And yeah, HQ is a bit boring without you_.

Danny's message: _That wasn't hard._

Danny's message: _Fine, It's true, I miss ya too, buddy, miss ya too. Oh, tell Grace I miss her too._

Steve's message: _Okay._

Danny's message: _Okay._

...

 _Did you like the lovely The Fault In Our Stars reference? :D Ahahaha, I hope you liked this chapter._


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks to Fanficqueen306 and the mysterious Guest for your input! Big thank you to my reviewers, so glad people are finding this funny._ _poldarked-fangirl, I kinda like Candy Crush, so I just had to put it in!_

 _..._

It's probably 3 AM and Steve and Danny just won't let it go...

Danny's message: _You're freaking crazy! Oh, have I told that you're a complete Neanderthal yet?_!

Steve's message: _Stop being such a softy, Danno, nothing happened!_

Danny's message: _I'm not being a softy! I'm just saying maybe my idea was better than, oh, I don't know... hanging him off a ten storey building!_

Steve's message: _What matters is that we got the information that we needed, okay?_

Danny's message: _Why can't you just be a rational cop?_

Steve's message: _Are you calling me irrational? So, you're calling me stupid?_

Danny's message: _Yes, irrational and absolutely freaking crazy-stupid!_

Steve's message: _Oh, okay, Danno, so what kind of method do you like to use, then?_

Danny's message: _Intelligent cop methods, like TALKING to the suspect!_

Steve's s message: _Look, it's you, Danno. (Steve sends Danno the infamous 'Bad Luck Brian' meme image)._

Danny's message: _Oh, you wanna play like that, huh?! Well, look who this is, it reminds me of Steve! (Danny sends Steve an image of a very hairy looking cave man)._

Steve's message: _Goodnight, Danny._

Danny's message: _Look who's the big softy now! HA!_

 _..._

Danny posted a new photo with a caption. _Who would have thought the James Bond books are actually good?! Kinda reminds me of Steve!_

Rachel Edwards, Danny Williams, Grace Williams, Kono Kalakaua and 43 other people liked this.

Steve comments: We discussed this last night, Danny, are you at it again?

Max comments: _Hello, gentleman, my fellow Five-0'er here wants to ask a question..._

Danny comments: _What do you want, Max?_

Max comments: _Well, Lori was wondering why you were at Steve's last night, since Steve did mention 'we discussed this last night'._

Lori Weston, Rachel Edwards, Chin Ho Kelly and 3 other people liked this.

Danny comments: _Of course I wasn't at his house!_

Steve comments: _What do you mean by 'of course'? And why did you like your own status?_

Danny comments: _You're a complete cave man. And who cares if I liked my own status! We are not discussing this now! And who can survive one night at your house anyway? The waves crashing are so annoying and your sofa is uncomfortable as hell!_

Steve comments: _Stop bashing my house, Danno, I find the sound of the waves relaxing! Okay?_

Danny comments: _You know what I think is relaxing? Knowing you haven't killed anybody yet with your cave man methods!_

Lori comments: _How long have you two been married?_

Kono Kalakaua, Rachel Edwards, Grace Williams, Chin Ho Kelly and 39 other people liked this.

...

Kono Kalakaua posted a new photo. _Finally Mrs. Noshimuri! With - Adam Noshimuri_

Adam Noshimuri, Chin Ho Kelly, Catherine Rollins, Joe White and 432 other people liked this.

Catherine comments: _You both are so adorable! I wonder when I'll become Mrs. McGarrett... ;)_

Danny comments: _I have something to say... Can I say it?_

Catherine comments: _Oh, sure, Danny... What is it?_

Steve comments: _Shut up, Danno!_

Kono comments: _Okay, now I really understand what Lori meant when she asked how long have you two been married..._

 _..._

 _Danny updated his status. Eating some tasty McGarrett._

 _2 likes._

Chin comments: _Hey, brah, I didn't know you... liked that kind of stuff?_

Danny comments: _What are you talking about, Chin?_

Kono comments: _Yeah, uh... We really don't need to know what you guys were doing last night..._

Danny comments: _I meant 'Malasadas'! How did McGarrett get there?! Oh my God, this is disturbing. Chin, help me?!_

Chin comments: _Autocorrect, buddy..._

Danny comments: _Ah, shoot! No wonder I wasn't getting many likes._

Steve comments: _You hardly ever get likes, anyway._

Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua, Grace Williams, Rachel Edwards and 23 other people liked this comment.

Danny comments: _That comment has more likes than my status! Go away, Steve! I bet you're smiling like an idiot right now._

 _..._

Chin Ho Kelly uploaded a video. _Last night at the Hilton village with a bit of kareoke... Gotta' say, Danny has a voice!_

Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams, Matt Williams, Clara Williams and 26 other people liked this.

Danny comments: _Michael Jackson would have no chance if the guy was still alive._

Steve comments: _Yeah, because you'd kill him with your voice._

Chin Ho Kelly liked this comment.

Danny comments: _Oh, do you want me to give you a list of everything that I hate about you, Steven?_

Steve comments: _Go ahead, Danno!_

Danny comments: _I don't want to hurt your SEAL feelings._


	8. Chapter 8

_Sorry for taking forever in uploading. Things happened, but here ya go._

 _..._

"How many times have I told you to drive _slower_?!" Danny basically yelled, tightly grabbing onto the edges of his seat for dear life. He glanced over at the current driver of his car, Steve, who had a smug smile planted on his face.

"Why would I drive slower when we have a case?" Steve told him as he continued to zoom past traffic. They had gotten a call from Chin not too long ago about a new case and some possible leads. Therefore, they needed to get to HQ quickly. Danny didn't like Steve's idea of 'quickly'.

"Yeah, but I want to arrive in one piece, don'tchya think?" Danny huffed. "Steve!" He yelled when Steve suddenly maneuvered himself between two incoming cars.

"Danno, calm down, I know what I'm doing," Steve said calmly, his hinds tightly gripping the driving wheel.

"Why did I even let you drive?" the Jersey boy questioned.

"Because I drive better than you," Steve replied with a huge smile.

There was a pause. "You drive better than me?" Danny repeated in disbelief. When Steve nodded, he said, "At least I haven't crashed the car into a tree!"

"Hey! That was an accident," he told his partner.

"Accident my ass," Danny retorted. Steve glanced at him and just grinned, adoring how his partner got so beat up about the car. "What, Steve? Can you please look at the road?" he gestured towards the asphalt outside.

"Oh, I think it's cute," Steve commented.

"Cute? What is?"

"That."

"What's 'that'?"

"You're anger issues," Steve finally said.

"I don't have anger issues, okay?!" Danny groaned as his face slowly turned into a shade of red.

"That's a lie," Steve commented quietly.

"No!" Danny threw his hands in the air.

"Yes!"

"No!" Danny said a little louder. "Stop taking your eyes off the road you cave man! How many times do I need to tell you? If you want, I can get our funerals arranged because you're clearly acting like you want to die today. And I, unfortunately, am stuck in the same car with you!" Danny huffed and puffed, using his hands to get his point across. He then ruffled his hair slightly with his hands in frustration.

"Danny, we're not going to die. You of all people should know I have great driving skills," Steve countered.

"Don't get me started on you're driving skills, Steve."

Suddenly, Steve's phone began to ring. It was Chin.

"Yeah, Chin, what's up?" Steve answered.

"Oh, great, you just had to call him while he's driving," Danny mumbled, rubbing his temples.

" _Kono's found something about our vic, it could help us figure out who the killer is. But where are you guys?_ " Chin asked.

"Don't worry, Chin, we're almost there," Steve reassured.

"Steve, look where you're going!" Danny yelled as Steve once again zoomed past traffic.

" _Danny, you there too?_ " Chin questioned.

"Unfortunately," he said to the man.

"We would have gotten to HQ at midnight if it was you driving," Steve said.

"What? That's ridiculous, Steve!"

"It's a fact!" Steve told him, unaware the phone was still connected to Chin's.

" _How old are you guys?_ " Chin asked.

"Five!" Danny and Steve both said at the same time.

...

Okay, it's not much... But hey, it's better than nothing! Thanks to the guest who gave me a prompt to use. :)


End file.
